Ghost Girl

“The restless souls of deceased girls trapped me in their dance circles a very long time ago.”

“Giselle” is my favorite ballet. It’s about a young woman who dies before her wedding and her soul joins the wilis- fairylike ghosts who haunt the forests for eternity. The second act opens on an ensemble of ghost ballerinas, glowing under the moonlight and punishing men by dancing them to death. I was immediately enamored by this depiction of fairy-ghosts. They are delicate, ethereal, and haunting. They are alluring and out of a dream, despite their coldness and vengeful hearts. I went home and began sketching my own ghost ballerinas. They’ve influenced how I draw figuratively to this day: women with long tapered limbs, flowing thick hair, downcast eyes, floating and bent in inhuman forms. I think my art sometimes balances out my obscenely giddy personality. Stoicism and mystery are difficult for me, but I can easily reshape into a sad ghost girl.

A few years after seeing Giselle, my childhood best friend died. After the initial wave of grief, I started drawing all my beautiful ghosts as her, shifting these insubstantial figures into something more therapeutic. I was desperate for her to visit me in dreams so I practiced drawing her face over and over and over. I thought about her lingering in the veil, staying 27 forever.

Almost all of my figurative works are unconscious self portraits. But some of my ghost paintings are very intentionally of Lauren. I only really know our faces. I like to imagine her in another plane of existence, serenely enlightened, living in a castle that floats on the edges of clouds.